Looking for Mrs. Peel 5: Truly Graceless Moment

Me and My Aunt Denise

Scene Twelve: Nixon apartment, another day.

SOUND: cooking sound CBS News on the TV

Walter Cronkite: Tens of thousands are expected to March on Washington tomorrow to protest the Vietnam War in what is promised to the the first of many such demonstrations. In a related event, today, a throng of young men descended on the Justice Department to hand in over 1000 draft cards.

Dorothy: Daddy! You’re home! Give me a horse back ride. One two three…(sx slap) Giddyup. I’m Billy Hartak and you’re Northern Dancer.

Granny: Peter, is Place des Arts posh? Are slacks appropriate for the play? I only have… Peter! You’ll hurt your back. She’s much too big to be carried around like that!

Dorothy: Ahhh. (sx plunk of feet on floor) What play?

Peter: grump
Dorothy: I wanna go see Othello

Peter: grump

Dorothy: I do too know lots about Shakespeare

Peter: grump

Dorothy: I don’t care about going to see Jungle Book. That’s for kids. I wanna see Laurence Olivier.

Dorothy vo: A few minutes later I signal my displeasure louder and clearer.
Martha: (distant) Supper in five minutes.

Dorothy: You can’t pass
Granny: What?

Dorothy: This is my bedroom and you can’t come in. Eat in the breakfast nook.

Granny: Why, you mischievous monkey child. Get out of the way

Dorothy: No!

Granny: You spotty faced devil. No one tells me where I can and cannot go.

Dorothy: I do.

Dorothy vo: And there we dance ridiculous in the doorway, the shriveled 72 year old sparrow woman and the stringy 12 year old monkey child, palm against palm, elbows akimbo, faces ablaze with indignation, in an inter-generational showdown, of sorts, a humiliating fandango for me, a truly graceless moment suspended in time and space,for although we’re ludicrously mismatched in height we’re remarkably even in strength. Eventually,my father emerges from the bathroom with a copy of Sports Illustrated conveniently rolled in his fist.(sx toilet flushing)

Peter: HUH??
Dorothy: I need the table. I have to do homework.
Peter: Haa

Granny: Your daughter won’t let me pass.

Peter: HAAA! (sx. Slap of magazine against ass)

Dorothy: Owwww. I AM in my room.
Granny: That girl. That spoiled spidery greasy haired thing. She can never visit me in Malaya. I would lose face in front of my Chinese friends.

Dorothy: I’d lose that face if I were you. You sun-baked bag of wrinkles. (sx thwack)

Marthe: The tomales are ready. Piping hot so take care.
Granny: Insupportable. That ghastly Eurasian girl put her up to it, I wager.

Dorothy vo: Much later that night my father comes to tuck me into my cot.

Dorothy: What’s wrong Daddy? Was the play sad?

Peter: Sniffle

Dorothy: You’re raining on me, Daddy.Don’t cry.

Dorothy vo: Expo ends. The leaves on the Maple trees turn red, yellow and orange and fall in great mouldy heaps in the gutter. Soon, the inevitable first blast of wintry weather.

Scene Thirteen: Nixon Living Room November 1967
SOUND: radio talk show

Announcer: (sx jingle. “Give the family its joys and they’ll all agree. Give them RCA TV.” Donut VO It’s Colour Preview Days at RCA. No money down on new models starting at 329.00 Offer lasts until Dec 15th.)A blizzardy November 19 in Montreal. How will the pound sterling’s dramatic drop affect the Canadian economy.We’ll be talking to two experts..

Dorothy vo: My last real memory of my grandmother mirrors my first.

Dorothy: Mummy, look out the window. Granny is out in the snowstorm in her shoes and socks.

Martha: Yes, she’s taking a taxi to the Liquor Commission. I told her to wait for Daddy. Old people can be so comical, sometimes.

Dorothy: Yes, so comical. She’s ugly and old and says mean things. And she drinks like a fish.

Martha: What did you say? Ma petite bonjour. Don’t ever let me catch you talking like that again, especially about family. Your grandmother is a lady, all my friends say so.

Dorothy: But she sent Daddy away to England at 5 years old to live with strangers who didn’t want him, and he had holes in his trousers and he had to beg “Please more porridge”at school, just like Oliver Twist.And he got locked in a dark cupboard when he was bad.

Martha: I think your father exaggerates sometimes. Memories can be like that. We can’t judge your grandmother’s life. She’s had some very hard times too.

Dorothy: Like what?

Martha: Oh, she had to sit for a long time cross-legged in a small room with lots of men and she wasn’t allowed to talk. During the war.

Dorothy: That happens to Ingrid all the time! At detention after school.

Radio guest: Certainly the American Administration must be concerned. The White House doesn’t want the British to pull out of East of Suez entirely.(fade) I wouldn’t be surprised if some feverish back room negotiations are going on right now.

SOUND: radio being tuned
Announcer 1: 1965: Singapore has been expelled from Malaysia just two years…

SOUND: Radio being tuned
Announcer 2: 1963: A new country was born today. Malaysia comprised of The Federation of Malaya, North Borneo, Sarawak and Singapore. SOUND: radio being tuned

Announcer 3: 1960 The twelve year old Communist Emergency in Malaya has been ended

SOUND: Radio being tuned
Announcer 4: 1957. Malayan Independence has been declared.

SOUND: Radio being tuned
Announcer 5: 1955: The UK is giving 6,000,000 pounds to The Federation of Malaya to offset the fall in the price of tin and rubber and to underwrite the cost of erecting villages for Chinese squatters

SOUND: radio being tuned
Announcer 6: 1948. A State of Emergency has been declared in The Federation of Malaya as 3 European Planters were murdered by Communist Chinese insurgents yesterday.

SOUND: Radio being tuned
Announcer 7: 1946. A war crimes trial gets underway in Singapore in March, related to atrocities committed by the Japanese Secret Police at a civilian prisoner of war camp located at Changi Beach. Former expatriots are supplying testimony for the prosecution under oath in London this month.

Looking For Mrs. Peel Complete play pdf

Looking For Mrs. Peel 4: Sun-baked bag of Wrinkles

Scene Eight: Nixon Living Room Following day

SOUND: clink of glass on glass, running water, background noise of children on street

Dorothy: (singin) R.E.S.P.E.CT: find out what it means to me.

Dorothy vo: The morning after I empty and wash a dozen ashtrays. The black square obsidian astray; the spotty green Bavarian blown glass one ;the tacky affair shaped like a sea shell from Old Orchard Beach, Maine; the clunky see-through job stamped with the Molson Export Ale logo. Among other classic 60’s designs.

Granny: Martha. Did you see the little yellow Bakelite ashtray? I’m sure I put it by my chair.

Martha: Dorothy must have moved it. It’s her job to clean up after parties. Here’s a nice one with the Rocky Mountains on it.

Granny: No, I prefer the Bakelite one. It fits nicely into my hand.

Martha: Dorothy! Where’s the little yellow ashtray?

Dorothy: (afar) In the hall, on the telephone table, where you like it.

Martha: Well, get it and give it to your grandmother. Right now!

Granny: And Martha, would you shut that window. The racket those Canadian children make. They shout and shriek all day.I’m used to the gentle Malay children at play.

Martha: Certainment (Sx SLAM OF WINDOW SHUTTING)

Scene Nine: Nixon Duplex Another day.

SOUND: French Radio. ID: Ici Radio Canada. Thunder rumblings
Woman on radio: De Gaulle n’a pas le droit de se melanger dans nos affaires…

Dorothy vo: My mother begins to invent excellent reasons during the day to escape.

Martha : (on phone) Vive le Quebec libre. Quelle gros espece de serpent. Je descend dans deux minutes.(sx clack of receiver being replaced)

Dorothy vo: Leaving me trapped alone with my grandmother

Martha: I’m going to Mme. Dufour’s for a visit. Take care of your grandmother.

Dorothy: Where’s Mark?

Martha: He’s gone to Rickie’s to play that Pepper album on his new stereo. (sx slam of door)

(Sx Radio background: That was The Mammas and the Pappas. San Francisco or be sure to wear flowers in your hair. Next, a new crossover song by Bobby Gentry (new promo) The Buddy G Thing: every night from 4-9. On CKGM. It’s what happening. So Glob on.)

Dorothy VO: Bakelite ashtray in her left hand, Rothman’s unfiltered in her right, the cranky old crone paces up and down our cramped apartment , absurdly overdressed for late July in black stretch pants and a thick brown turtleneck sweater. Her boobs sag almost to her knees like two spent balloons and her bum is wide and flat like a giant burnt pancake.She shuffles past the dining room where I sit cross-legged on my cot stroking my library books: Ring of Bright Water, Born Free, King of the Wind and Silent Spring, all about animals,all borrowed from the NDG Library for boys and girls, all books I’ve taken out many times before, and listening to music on my brother’s battered Realtone transistor radio.

(Sx Wonderbra jingle: Back ground music:To be free and alive, everywhere that you go.Is to wear what you dare anywhere and to travel with flair and style that will show wherever you go…)

She veers right into the adjacent living room taking eight more slouching steps to the window, and pauses for a spell,above Mummy’s mildewed African Violet on the sill. She scowls at the wind tossed branches of the Maple outdoors. She taps her cigarette ash into the little yellow dish in her opposite hand, then she whips around to look me in the eyes,through the crack in the French doors separating the rooms, the very moment a bolt of lightning rips open the murky slice of Montreal sky behind her. (Sx Thunder) She opens her miserable marionnette-lined mouth as if she is going to speak

Granny: What are yoooou reaaaad…?

Dorothy (vo)but I’m saved by the bell, or more precisely by the buzzer

(Sx DOOR BUZZER. Sound of quick quick steps closing in
Ingrid: Here’s the Tiger Beat you wanted back, the one with Illya and Herman’s Hermits.

Dorothy: Can you stay and play a bit?

Ingrid: No, my Auntie Pryanka is here from India. We’re teaching her to walk in high heels. What a riot! Is that your grandmother?

Dorothy: Yep.

Ingrid: She’s a real sun-baked bag of wrinkles. What’s with the frown?

Dorothy: What are you doing?

Ingrid: Playing Monkey See Monkey Do. Have I got the scowl right? The hunchback?

Dorothy: Don’t imitate her like that. She’ll see!

Dorothy: What does she have eyes at the back of her head too?

Scene Ten: Nixon Kitchen. Some days later

SOUND: Whir of Mixmaster

Dorothy vo: And then the old lady oversteps even a visiting mother in law’s prerogative.

Martha: Dorothy, come and lick the beaters. Oh, I meant the other Dorothy of course.

Granny: What are you making?

Martha: Shoofly Pie. Dorothy’s favorite. Sugar and spice and everything nice. And French Chocolate Cake. My specialty. 6 eggs and ¾ of a pound of butter.

Granny: No wonder your kids have spots. 6 eggs! What an appalling waste.

Martha: Do you know what I find wasteful. 40 ounces of gin a week!

Scene Eleven: Outside Nixon Master Bedroom
SOUND: muffled arguing. Heaving breathing

Dorothy vo: Generally my mother prefers to air her complaints out in the open, French Canadian style. This closed door business is new to me.

Martha: (muffled) I’m sick of playing happy hostess to your mother. Take her out sometimes, at night.

Peter: grumble

Martha: I know this is your busiest time. But sometimes I think you are just making excuses. Why not go to dinner at Bill Wong’s or Ruby Foo’s. She likes the Chinese so much. Or get tickets to one of those fancy Centennial galas. You work for the Expo. Mon Dieu. Pull some strings!

Peter: grumble

Martha: What a thing to say. Everyone loves their mother. It’s only natural.And you haven’t seen her in 30 years, when she took that fameux bateau de banane steerage to visit you in school in England. It’s not her fault you ignored her letters after the war.

Looking For Mrs. Peel Complete play pdf