Love and Marriage, Consent and Dowry

Marriage place settings.  Marion Nicholson Hugh Blair 1913. Home-made and on the cheap.

I’ve completed my draft of Diary of a Confirmed Spinster the follow up to Threshold Girl.

It has to be typed and put into pdf.

As I turn to Marion’s Story, I have marriage on my mind, 1910 marriage.

It’s still considered cute today, on sitcoms at least, for men to ask the father of their intended for his consent to a marriage.

I’ve only heard of one or two real life people who did that.

I think Wolowitz did it on Big Bang. He got married to Bernadette yesterday. Not a bad episode, the wedding on the roof with Google Earth was cute. (It’s hard to write an original marriage scene and that was fairly original.)

But I think I’ve figured out what a father’s consent meant, at least in Canada in 1910, at least for the middle class. It meant the father would give money, a dowry, set the young couple up.

So when a father didn’t give his consent, it didn’t mean he didn’t like the guy or want the daughter to marry, it meant he couldn’t afford it.

This reality is at the heart of my story Diary of a Confirmed Spinster. Norman Nicholson, Edith’s father would not even comment on her favorite, even when introduced to him. So in the book I have her beloved, Charlie, go to extremes to make money for marriage – and get killed. In real life he died in a fire at at Hotel in Cornwall, the Rossmore. His body was never identified.

As for Marion, well, she gets engaged in May 1913, a decision made only by the couple, although she has indeed ‘asked’ her father for his opinion of her intended earlier in October 1912.

In June 1913 Edith writes to her Mother, saying she wishes father would write and give his FULL CONSENT as Marion has to tell her principal whether she wants her teaching job back the next year. And Hugh, her fiance, wants to start looking for a house.

Norman does write to Marion a long letter saying “He doesn’t know what to say as he is dead broke.”

Norman and Marion’s fiance, Hugh Blair, come to some agreement and I have a letter from Hugh saying he as received whatever  and thank you. (In letters, if someone is thanking someone for money, it is never spelled out. Thank you for ‘the favour’ of the 12th instant.)

Hugh also asks for something from his own father (not sure what) and the father writes a jolly letter back but never mentioning Marion or the marriage.

Hugh’s parents do not attend the wedding in October in Richmond.

I also have a marriage contract, drawn up in Richmond a few days before the wedding, saying that Marion brings nothing to the marriage but her clothes and wedding presents.

So if she leaves Hugh, he keeps the furniture.

In 1910 In Canada, marriage was still a financial contract, although like Marion and Hugh, couples in love could get married without consent and suffer the consequences. Hugh had to go out into business on his own as a lumber merchant. He got shut out the family business, for a while at least.

The ideal marriage is where a man with prospects and education, although perhaps no money of his own, married a woman whose dowry could set him up in life and business. My own grandfather married 1901 was an example. He was Jules Crepeau and Assistant City Clerk in Montreal in 1901. He married the daughter of a master butcher, who brought if my mother is correct, 40,000 to the marriage. (Hard to believe, although Master Butchers were prominent citizens. The woman he married also had prominent connections, a Monsigneur and such.)

So what if they spent their marriage throwing crockery at each other.

Hugh and Edith

From what I see the Nicholson marriage was on the cheap. 6.65 for a cake and a few dollars for material and new shoes for outfits from Hudon’s.

Love and Marriage Dear Sir, I wish to consult you on a subject that deeply interests me while it indirectly concerns you and I hope that my presentation of the matter will meet with your approval. For sometime past your daughter Marion and I have been on intimate terms of friendship which has developed into affection on my part, and I have reason to believe my intentions are not indifferent to her, so I would therefore request your consent to our marriage. Yours sincerely, Hugh Christian Blair (PIC BELOW: Marion draws her ring!)

Titanic Era Life of Women

Coats from Eaton’s Catalogue, winter 1913-14, range 12.00 to 25.00. Mid range. The catalogue opens with glamour coats, fur coats worth 80 dollars or more, muskrat, seal and the most expensive, persian lamb.. There are also some coats for 10.00 and 5.00. In the 16.oo range, cheviot, vicuna, or, a bit more expensive, wool.

Following is an ‘edited’ letter from late 1912. Margaret Nicholson is visiting her girls in Montreal. You see, Marion, her gung-ho daughter, has taken the brave step of finding a flat for herself and her sister and two friends, all teachers, very bold of her. But it’s near impossible in 1913 for working girls (sic) to  keep a flat and a job. So Mom has to come to help. (Besides, without Mom there, people are very suspicious.

My Threshold Girl story (on free ebook) tells the story of Flora Nicholson’s year at Macdonald Teachers College 1911/1912. I am writing the follow up, Diary of a Confirmed Spinster, about sister Edith’s life in the era, where she loses her great love in a Cornwall hotel fire. I end in August 1912, in Boston, where she is on a trip with sister Marion. Edith has no prospects, work or romantic, for she has quit her teaching job in May.

Marion’s story, the third book in the digital trilogy, will tell about her life between May 1911 to May 1913, the two years she is courted by Hugh Blair, while working as a teacher in Little Burgundy.  Despite her huge ambitions, she ends up giving up teaching to marry Hugh. This letter suggests some reasons why.

2401 Hutchison

November 11, 1912

Dear Norman,

You see by the heading that I am still in the city.

Marion and Flora won’t hear to me going home and E writes for me to stay as she is getting on all right – has one of the Pepplers when she stays in the house. I will not stay more than another week. I do wish Edith was here and that we could be together for the winter as they ought to have someone here. Your letter did not reach me until Friday pm, as Edith sent it–so I felt a little worried as I always got them Thursday.

I am so sorry about your coat. I gave the right add to Lann McMorine. You better make some enquiries there about it. Might be at Cochrane.

Edith writes that Mr. Dyson said he bought thirty cords of wood and would supply our winter’s wood and would bring a cord any time and to let him know so don’t worry any more about wood. She also sent me notice that taxes were due.

Now I am very sorry that Herb seems to be so careless, debt seems to be no worry to him. I hope you have just let him know how hard it is for you to be away from your family and that he might try and do better. He has not written me for several weeks . I really cannot understand how he can do it.

Well, the weeks are going by and Xmas will soon be here I don’t know what the girls can do with the flat; or if they will be able to get someone to keep fires if they want to go home. They will have two weeks holidays. They were talking it over but said they would decide when you came. The weather has been quite nice since I came in here.

I have not bought a coat. Takes more than I had. Marion got a long navy blue one that will be very comfortable this winter. Paid 16.50 and Flora got a brown the same price. They really needed them.

I have not gone anywhere not been up to Cleveland’s yet. I have been having trouble with my teeth and as Marion was having work done at Cleveland’s Friday, I had him look at mine. He said he would do an hours work for me Monday so I am to go at three o’clock, Too bad yours are giving you trouble. I think it is caused from cold, my front teeth at least one of them felt loose, but he said he did not think it was but found cavities in others. M. had five filled.

Marion said she was going to write you and tell you about Mr. Hugh Blair. He seems very nice. Went home Saturday to Three Rivers. There are a good many things that he can do such as fixing window blinds, but Marion won’t let me ask him much. We are trying to put the double windows on here. I want to see them on before I go, although so far they are not needed.

I don’t think there is any danger of them getting behind: the four girls pay 25 dollars each. They would rather do it than board. They say it amounted to about that at Mrs. Ellis’s.

Now don’t worry about Herb. We cannot help it now. If the work stops there you must just take a trip out west. See why he does not at least keep himself. He must know that Marion paid Aunt Han’s note. He never wrote her or mentioned it to me. Write when you get this and add to Richmond.

They say I will be here two weeks more but I don’t like to leave Edith alone . She said she would go to Kingsbury for a visit but she thought it was too cold and just stayed at home.

Your loving Wife

Margaret

Flora is always saying she is going to write but there is so much going on they don’t have time and when I write often they think I tell all.

Easter 1912..Titanic Week

Norman Nicholson in his Masonic Regalia. In 1912, they were starting up a Chapter of the Eastern Star, a group for women. Norman was a Presbyterian and the Presbyterians frowned upon the Masons (for keeping secrets from their wives.) Still, he spend a lot on fees to remain a Mason. He needed it for social standing.

Well, it is Easter Sunday, 2012, the 8th of April. It seems that Easter was around the same time in 1912, because I have this letter from exactly 100 years ago.

Well, I checked. It was the 7th!

The letter is from Norman Nicholson of www.tighsolas.ca . He was writing to his wife in Richmond, Quebec, from his post on the Canadian Transcontinental Railway in Cochrane, or at least near Cochrane at “end of steel” as they called it.

Their daughters, Flora, Marion were at home for Easter.  Another daughter,Edith, had to stay in town I guess to watch over students at Westmount Methodist, a boarding school.

Flora was a student at Macdonald College, studying to be a teacher, Marion and Edith were already teachers in the Big City. Flora’s story is told here Threshold Girl in free e-book form.

Cochran Ont April 8^th, 1912

Dear Margaret,

I am writing you my usual weekly letter. Did not receive yours that I usually get Saturday? I suppose your are busy entertaining your girls. But I expect to get a long one from you when the girls leave. Trust you are well.

Well, I have nothing new to write about from here. Last Friday and Saturday we had a big thaw here. It took away half of our snow and in lots of places the ground is bare and where it is the mud is terrible would prefer snow to it.

  It turned cold last night and this morning everything is frozen solid with snow falling and a north wind blowing not a very good day for Easter Bonnets here.

Did not go to Church this morning, it was too cold. I had letter yesterday from DB McLennan of Scotstown wanting to know if I could get him a job here.

I think I forgot to tell you in my last letter that I had a post card from Sophia Nicholson in Edmonton wanting to know if I had received the epistle she wrote me at Xmas.

Said Gordon was sick with the measles. I haven’t heard from Herb since writing your last, nor any of the girls.

How is Han and the Hills getting on now? As I haven’t any news to write about I will close awaiting your letter. My eye is all right but not quite as clear of the red yet as the other. Cold is quite well now. Hoping you are enjoying the Easter Holidays with your girls. I will come later if spared.

Now, My sweet pet, I will say love to your own self. Trusting to hear from you soon, Your affectionate husband N. Nicholson

Here’s the letter wife Margaret wrote back: Her letter is peppered with references to the family problems, the largest of which was a large debt owed by her son, on an insurance policy. And the family is squabbling with Margaret’s brother over care of the aged mother. The last line of her letter reveals Margaret finds it ironic that people are asking them for help getting jobs.

Richmond Thursday April 11, 1912 Dear Norman, Yours of the 8th received Tuesday night – I look for them on that day. Marion returned to the city Tuesday afternoon, Flora returned Wednesday afternoon. They both had a nice long holiday which I enjoyed very much. E. did not come. We wrote to her every day and she wrote that Marion’s young man had been very kind took her, taking her to the theatre so she was not too lonesome. Grandma is feeling better. I was up this afternoon stayed three hours and had a talk of the will business. Bella said Mother made her will the other day but she does not know what is in it. Tom  Bushell and M. Cleveland are the witness and her money is in the bank. While we were talking Clayton came in. He said they did keep Mother for nothing and that it was not a lie, though I told him mother paid her board. I said I always understood she did. Well, I suppose you think you will get your pay now. They have it in for me. How I wish I did not have to go near them. Han is having her sale the 16th, then she is going up to the farm. Sis is with her and looks black when I go over. Still I go and Han comes up here. Marion wondered why you did not say anything about Herb’s insurance. George Alexander called me up to ask. Said you told him there was a letter from Herb for you. I said I did not think it was an answer to the one you had written. Marion thought of going to see George but did not like to tell you. Am glad your cold is better.  The ice is moving a little today. Still there is a cold wind. I have to make a fire in the furnace every day.  Crombie is busy with his chimney for the fire place. Mrs. Gawn has bought Fran Shaw’s house in upper Melbourne. The new notary is moving into the Sutherland’s house. Mr. Rothney is staying in the Kelly house. Mrs. Skinner has gone to Melbourne. I do not miss them so much.  The Dr. wrote her that he was offered 90 dollars a month for his house. I sat up with grandma two nights last week. Now she does not need any one after Han’s sale and if she keeps better I am really going out to Kingsbury for a few days.   As I now see things, Bella and Clayton have made most of the trouble for us among the friends just because they are jealous of us.  I have not heard anything about our lodge yet. It may take some time. What do you think of my office? Do you think I can manage it?   I paid water tax telephone and PO box rent and got a gal of maple syrup from Fowler when the girls were here. It is very nice I wish you could have some now when it is new however there will be some when you come. Now with much love Your wife Margaret Write me what to say about the insurance PS Write to W Keenan about your wagon. The very idea of McLennan writing you about a position. I wish you was a good as most people think.

Here’s the letter Marion wrote upon her return: Her lodgings were on Tower, which is near McGill off Sherbrooke.

Edith and Marion seated Circa 1912.

Tower Avenue,

April 13, 1912

Dear Father,

You will see by the heading that I am again in Montreal and mother will have told you that I was at home Easter. Mother is busy but well. She had been with Grandma quite a lot and now I hear Florence Pepler is not well  and she has been there. Everything is much the same only the Skinners have left their house.  Flora came back the day after I did. She is well but not quite as fat as she was at Xmas. Edith has, I suppose, told you that she was thinking of taking a summer school out West somewhere, that is if she can get one and there is a  slight possibility  that I might do the same if I can find a place for the two months.

Was in at Dr. Cleveland’s yesterday having a tooth filled. He was enquiring for you.

There was nothing doing at home except the talk of Uncle Dan’s will but mother has told you all about that I suppose. Aunt Han gave them a great old calling down and does not want to have anything more to do with them. I saw Aunt Sarah and Florence. They left the day after I got home. There is not any more news so I will stop now and write later. Rec’d your check all right and Flora is all right for this month.  What about Herb’s insurance?  I was going to speak to Geo Alexander when at home but thought perhaps I had better not as I had not heard back from you. Let me know: I  can take it over all right without burdening myself. Now, I think this is all for now,

Lovingly

Marion

PS Am enclosing the take on the Liberals but think it should apply to the Cons don’t you.

Marion.

Here’s a letter Flora wrote to her Dad upon returning to school for the final push before graduation.

She mentions the Titanic – but also the death of  a girl at school. In those days, someone could get sick one week and be dead the next. Pneumonia. The King of Death. Charles Hays, President of the Grand Trunk Railway, was the most prominent Montrealer to go down with the Titanic. (He was American.) He had visited Richmond in 1911,  because the railway station there burnt down. This was a significant event, as Richmond was an important railway hub.

Flora 1908, on the beach at Nantucket. The Nicholsons had many relations in Boston. During this visit she took a car ride (in a Stanely Steamer) to Wellesley College. She thought Macdonald College resembled Wellesley.

A page from her  Spring 1912 Nature Diary.

Macdonald College.

April 19, 1912

Dear Father,No doubt you will be thinking it is about time you were hearing from me. I intended answering your letter long before this but it seemed as if I never could get around to it.

I suppose mother has told you I was home for Easter holidays. We had a week, from Wednesday to Wednesday.  It seemed good to get home, although I was in the house all the time with a cold. Still, Marion and I helped out with Mother’s day at home. She had 10 visitors, so we all got the local news.

 Apparently, they are thinking of setting up a chapter of the Eastern Star in Richmond.  Something else for mother to do.

One day Mother Marion went out the cemetery to see Uncle Dan’s grave.

Ever since I have got back I have been quite busy. Our exams commence about the middle of May and it won’t be long before they are here.

I applied for a school in the city but have not heard yet anything about it. I won’t know until June whether I will be accepted. I supposed they have to wait until they see what we will do in our exams, that is, if we manage to carry off a model diploma.  Mabel is going to Valleyfield  next year. She is to have first and second model.

I don’t think there is any danger about not getting a school. The commissioners of schools are really at our mercy. There are so few qualified teachers and so many new students. I hope I will be accepted in the city as I think I will like it fine with Edith and Marion there too.

Next week I have to assist in the Kindergarten from 9 to 10.20. am  in the day school and next week in the upper grades. So you see, I will be pretty busy but it will be good practice for me…. I suppose you have not heard about the death of Edith Storke, one of the girls attending the college. She was in the Elementary class. She took cold and it developed into pneumonia and died in a few days. She did not live in residence as Dr. Lynde, one of the professors, is her brother-in- law.

This is the second death of a student this year.

The Titanic is all everyone can talk about. Mother saw Mr. Hays, the President of the GTR , at the Train Station last summer. Edith says she is going to the American Presbyterian church to hear the eulogy for him.

They are having a service here, too. But for all the dead.

Your Loving Daughter, Flora

Edith sends Norman a letter later in the month:

1095 Greene Ave Westmount Quebec April 19, 1912 Dear Father, I suppose you heard that I was unable to go home for the holidays. I got through the time very well, considering  Marion and Flora both had a very nice little holiday  and it did them good. I just got a letter from Mother this morning. What a time she is having between Florance and Grandma. If there is any work to be done they, of course ,will  have to have Mother. I think they are perfectly dreadful, the things they have said and done. And all for the sake of a little money. I hope we shall never have to be so mean. Only 5 weeks until we close. This year has gone by very quickly after all. What a dreadful accident to the Titanic and such a great loss of life. It seems to have cast a gloom over every one. People can talk of nothing else.  Mr. Hays will be a great loss to the Grand Trunk. There are to be memorial services in all the churches on Sunday morning. A special one for Mr. Hays in the American Presbyterian. I think I shall go out to Macdonald tomorrow and see Flora. Later Sunday Afternoon. I went out to Macdonald on the 1.30 train and spent a pleasant afternoon. She is looking splendid and is to beautifully dug out there. It is an ideal spot. The ice has moved out of the Ottawa a little but not yet from the St. Lawrence. I went to the memorial service in the American Presbyterian this morning. The front was draped with black. The pulpit with the Union Jack and the Stars and Stripes. The service was very impressive . He is certainly well spoken of. Today is anniversary service in St. Andrew’s. Dr. Barcley is preaching.  It has been a beautiful Sunday, the warmest yet and getting so nice and dry.  How are things up North? What do you think of the coming elections in the province? Do you think Peter will have a hard run. Saw by the Record that Charlie Campbell started on a business trip to Winnipeg. M. Got your letter the other day. Your loving Edith In my story, Threshold Girl  I have Edith come home for the 1912 Easter Holidays.  Creative License.

Not Happily Ever After

Mementos of the Marriage of Hugh Christian Blair and Marion Nicholson. Handmade – as their wedding was on the cheap.

Hmm. Mrs. H Blair. When a woman got married back then she not only gave up her surname, but also her first name. Officially speaking.

I have calling cards for Marion that say Mrs. H. C. Blair. These were likely used before her husband died in 1927. In her professional capacity, as a widow, she used the name Marion A. N. Blair.

Well, once again I went through the Nicholson memorabilia, looking for a certain document and found one I didn’t know I had: Marion and Hugh’s marriage contract. I had only guessed the date of the marriage, using an invoice for a wedding cake on October 9, 1913. Then I found these butterflies. Well, the Marriage Contract has the same date.

The contract is interesting in that it shows that Marion brought nothing to the marriage but her clothes and wedding gifts. (There’s a big space in the contract to list other things.)

Then it shows that Hugh promises to give all the household furnishings purchased from now on, to Marion, “as a simple celebration of the marriage”. And also to leave any insurance to her, UNLESS, there is a separation FOR ANY REASON and all this is deemed void.

I get the impression that this contract was forced on Hugh and Marion by his family, to protect them. She certainly gets nothing out of it.

As it happens, Hugh Blair died in 1927 after a lengthy illess. A liver issue. I have letters speaking of his illness. Edith writes that his eyes are as yellow as egg yolks. (I have stories told by my mother in law who was 10.) and I have documents supporting what she talked about.

Apparently, when Hugh was dying, Marion did everything to keep his family away, as she knew they would force him to sign away his share of the business. But she went out one day and they got him to do it.

I have two copies of a letter written by Hugh to Marion saying that this is only a temporary business decision and that she is still provided for.

Then I have a letter from Clayton Hill, the brother-in-a law stone mason, just before Hugh’s death, relating to the potential purchase of a plot for him in St. Andrew’s cemetery in Richmond. (Something made Hugh so angry he decided not to be buried with his family. Alas, he died too soon and is buried on Mount Royal.)

Then I have an obituary printed in the newspaper, that leaves out the names of Marion and family as mourners. (A letter Herb writes to Margaret asks about this.)

Then I have a letter from the Blair Bros. claiming that Hugh has exhausted all his insurance and that no money is due her.

Then I have a letter from a lawyer claiming that she has a good case against the firm but to pursue it would be too costly.

Then I have a letter from the Masons, the Melita Preceptory and Priory, saying that they are going to give her kids allowances from the Knight’s Templer Orphan fund.

And, yet, apparently she never complained. She just went back to work and rose to be the President of the PAPT union. And she got hell for this too, for her job, in many people’s eyes, was to get remarried and not get a job.

Had she been a man, there’s no end to what she might have accomplished.

Funny, I have a letter from her brother, Herb, 1907. Marion is teaching in Sherbrooke, he’s at the bank, working as a clerk. This is the year the Nicholsons are disinherited by a spinster Aunt who had a house and about 3,000 in the bank.

“And now that my house is to be given to someone else, ” he writes “I will have to give up all hopes of ever being rich and look at it as a lost fortune.”

He would spend the next few years getting into debt and making his family crazy with anxiety and it would be Marion on her teacher’s salary, who would bail him out, no thanks from him.

(This is the story told in the Nicholson Family Saga, on another blog.)

Sometimes I wonder if she got married because of a fear that she’d forever be bailing out her family, what with her brother being so irresponsible.

Largely because of Herb, Norman would have no money to give her ‘a proper wedding’ – so this mean little contract, I guess.

Hugh married Marion anyway, against his parent’s wishes. I also have a friendly warm letter from Hugh’s father, Hugh Purvis, to Hugh in June 1913, that never mentions Marion or the upcoming wedding.

Apparently, they didn’t attend the wedding. But, for the wedding, they did provide the couple with a Family Bible which I have on hand.